At the close of the Constitutional Convention in 1787, Dr. James McHenry, a Maryland delegate, followed Benjamin Franklin from Independence Hall. He recorded a question asked by a lady, directed at Dr. Franklin.

The lady asked, "Well Doctor, what have we got? A republic or a monarchy?"

"A republic," replied Dr. Franklin, "if you can keep it."

IN DEFENSE OF MINORITIES!

"The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities." - Ayn Rand

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Military to Transition to Cryogenic Storage

(The Pentagon) Experts say North Korea's successful detonation of a miniaturized nuclear device is concerning because it indicates the country may be getting closer to the ability to put a nuclear device on a missile.

(Washington DC) In a surprising move, outgoing Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta announced the American response to growing restlessness on the Korean Peninsula and elsewhere in the multi-polar nuclear world. "There's nothing we can do to stop a nuke from striking American soil, but we can preserve our military to fight another day."

President Obama said, "If it's good enough for
China, it should be good enough for America.
President Obama, speaking to a group of high school students in Nevada unveiled his plan to reduce the US Military budget by 99%. "We call it Operation Terracotta Warrior," the President explained. "The technology currently exists to cryogenically freeze the entire military cadre and then literally thaw them out if we ever need them again. In order to reduce our obligation to military families and to keep them the same age as their service members, we need to freeze them as well. Pay and benefits will be halted until such time as they have a thaw date, in which case full pay will be reinstated."

Newly minted Military Base and Cryogenic Storage Facility Yucca Mountain, NV.
Senate Majority Harry Reid haled the project as a solid

move forward since most of the nations military service members will be stored in the Yucca Mountain nuclear waste storage facility. Built at an expense of hundreds of billions of dollars and then never used because of Senator Reid's opposition to storing nuclear waste on his back porch, the Senator said, "It's time that we use this Rolls Royce of facilities to store our nation's best." Senator Reid clarified President Obama's vision, "The cost of maintenance for the entire military and their families will be limited to a few dozen GS-5 pay grade technicians, supervised by a civilian doctor."

Speaker of the House of Representatives John Boehner expressed outrage at the fine print that underscores the program. "Each service member will provide his enduring electronic proxy vote to the Democratic Party in Texas as a condition of continued sustained cryogenic condition before they are frozen. Who is to say which party they would vote for if they were conscious, and why Texas?"

Speaker Boehner's answer came from Press Secretary Jay Carney, who told the White House Press Corps, "There has been a continuing concern on the part of the President that Democrats don't have enough say in the electoral process in Texas. Even though they will be stored in Nevada, the US Military will vote as a block for Democratic candidates in Texas."

Predator Drone assigned to the US Department of Justice, Bureau of Alcohol,
Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) for use in Operation: Snatch and Grab.
Carney addressed the assassination drone program, assuring the American public that it will go on and that savings from Operation Terracotta Warrior would be poured into both domestic programs, which cynics refer to as 'buying votes' and into an expanded drone program. "We feel that the program needs to be civilianized and that people who have the correct political mindset be put at the controls. Not only will the drones fly in our Foreign Contingency Operation (was War on Terror), but we intend to employ them in the United States in support of the Federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, in Operation Snatch and Grab. Carney declined to elaborate on Operation Snatch and Grab, citing program classification.




6 comments:

Libertarian Advocate said...

It would be funny we're it not so damned plausible under this current vicious coot

WoFat said...

It's so stupid it could be real.

Opus #6 said...

I can see Clinton ordering a snatch and grab program. I would suspect Obama's inclinations lie in another direction.

LL said...

LA - I'm just the messenger... but it does make sense in a twisted way.

WoFat - Do you think that it isn't real?

Opus #6 - I think that Obama's ATF will snatch and grab what they can. But Clinton did have an affinity for the snatch.

Libertarian Advocate said...

LL: So which Clinton do you mean?

LL said...

Isn't Hillary going to be the next president? I thought that deal was done.

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